Murder for Dummies...
If I pelt you with stones
do you not lye unconscious
and helpless on the pavement
in the mall parking lot. If
I tie you to cash registers
and blindfold you so you
cannot identify me or see
where I traveled can you not
still nudge red alarm buttons
with knee caps? If I shoot
you between the eyes, in the
head, in the gut, and display
of toy robots knocks me to
the ground and buries me
until the cops arrive to
take me away, aren't you
still dead? If I order you to take
off your clothes so I can wear
them and appear to be an employee
will anyone notice you are missing
and save you from further trauma
or humiliation at my villainous
hands. If the answer to any or all
is yes, you could be my next victim.
by Micah Zevin 2010
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1 comment:
Micah! This has powerful potential. You need to impose a visual structure to complement the escalation of drama. You need to fix the last line as well. Too on the nose: "You could be my next victim." The could softens an otherwise predatory tone. How about a line like . . . "That's why, this buds for you." Then some hostile end is clear . . . but what it is, is still amorphous. This poems a winner though!
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